Beyond happy – a resonant reality requires resistance

Mediation, Musings, Stories, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,   2 comments  

Introduction

idyllic_moment.jpg

Attaining (whether by pluck or luck) a seemingly friction-free life is a seductive notion. A state essentially without complaint. Something to yearn for, strive for. Perhaps achieve via a life of effort, as a well-earned place. Or a heroic reward. A validation of righteousness.

Such is this notion portrayed in mythology and modern lore … as haven, heaven, Elysium Fields. A refuge with resistance in remission … gnawing doubts gone … sorrow set aside. A friction-free liberty.

Yet, I’ve always wondered about the dynamics of such a space. Who or what services that realm? What individual or collective agency pertains there?

And the feeling of agency over our actions may be a mirage. I’ve explored this manipulation in my tales of Concierge Deity and elsewhere. How does one miss something for which there’s no memory – not even nostalgia?

HEATHER BERLIN: Like states of consciousness, there are levels of agency, ways it can be manipulated and even taken away. – PBS NOVA, Season 50 Episode 10 “Your Brain: Who’s in Control?” (5/24/2023)

A sense of agency grounds meaning in daily life. But what if that agency has been abdicated or outsourced? And so “the less we notice what’s missing – or remember that we ever had a choice.”

I am reminded of the opening for the Outer Limits TV series:

There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. … We can change the focus to a soft blur, or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. … You are about to participate in a great adventure. …

So, a couple of recent articles serve as an addendum to my series “Beyond happy & meaningful.”

Articles

Validation

tug_of_rope.png

• The Atlantic Daily > The Validation Machines by Raffi Krikorian (October 30, 2025, originally published at The Atlantic) – Humanity thrives on friction – so why are the tools of the future built to make everything seem so easy?

Key points (some quoted)
  • Trading convenience & comfort (slick concierge) for comprehension & competence erodes our humanity.
  • The most powerful way to shape someone’s choices is by gaining their trust (as in brand loyalty or “Good Housekeeping Seal“).
  • Trust needs to be earned by unpacking the process (provenance) behind the “magic.”
  • When validation is purchased rather than earned (as in earned success), we lose something vital.
  • Wholly attentive, intimate engagement does not equal enlightenment.
  • You can’t participate in a democracy if you can’t see what’s missing (disagreement, complexity, friction).
  • Friction is a teacher, not a flaw.
  • Founding Father James Madison knew that democracy thrives on discomfort.
  • We are replacing pluralism with personalization. (Cf. the new Apple TV series Pluribus.)
  • Information systems need to invite curiosity, not just conformity.
  • The real danger is the seductive ease of seamless certainty, rather than overt manipulation.

debate_stage.png

Quotes

In recent years, society has been conditioned to see friction not as a teacher but as a flaw – something to be optimized away in the name of efficiency. But friction is where discernment lives. It’s where thinking starts. That pause before belief – it’s also the hesitation that keeps us from slipping too quickly into certainty. Algorithms are trained to remove it. But democracy, like a kitchen, needs heat. Debate, dissent, discomfort: These aren’t flaws. They are the ingredients of public trust.

If humanity loses the ability to challenge – and be challenged – we lose more than diverse perspective. We lose the practice of disagreement. Of refining our views through conversation. Of defending ideas, reconsidering them, discarding them. Without that friction, democracy becomes a performative shell of itself. And without productive disagreement, democracy doesn’t just weaken. It cools quietly until the fire goes out.

Facing adversity

eightball_play.jpg

Preface

I sometimes joke that gophers taught me Zen. How to live with continuing friction in my life. Those morning mounds, spoiled sections of turf. How to respect their agency – what just one gopher can do. To understand their long history in the area. To accept the resigned attitude of most neighbors. To enjoy periods where they’ve been eliminated (by attention & effort), yet mindful that being out of sight is not the same as gone forever.

In this Big Think video, “journalist Oliver Burkeman reframes challenges as the path to a more meaningful life.” To acknowledge reality, reimagine “gnawing rats,” accept feelings of discomfort as legitimate, and move forward step-by-step.

Presentation

rattly-rats-into-sidekick-sheep.png

• The Big Think > How facing adversity can help you live a deeper, more meaningful life by Oliver Burkeman (10-31-2025) – There would be something very, very empty and meaningless about [a] sort of life with no problems.

Most of us are quietly waiting for our life’s problems to subside. We feel that after “solving” them, everything will be perfect, and we’ll achieve complete happiness.

In actuality, learning to live in the problems that come our way can make us happier, and expecting a frictionless life actually causes more strife for us.

[Setting aside “specific problems that one would hope to avoid, that one would never wish on anybody,”] I think it really helps if you can develop a taste for having problems in life. And what I mean by that is to start, really, just with the recognition that this inner demand to get to the place with no problems is sort of absurd on its face.

A life without any problems, I think, would be a life that had lost what the German social theorist Hartmut Rosa calls “its resonance.” There would be something very, very empty and meaningless about this sort of life with no problems.

There’s a Dutch Zen monk called Paul Loomans who’s written very eloquently on this phenomenon. And he talks about these things that we avoid all the time as “gnawing rats” that kind of, you know, in the middle of the night, you’ll remember them and you’ll feel bad about them. They’ll be gnawing at you, but basically, you spend your life just sort of trying to get out of their way.

And he suggests that what we need to do is actually to sort of befriend our gnawing rats, the path towards doing something about them. And in his imagery, transforming them from gnawing rats into fluffy white sheep that just sort of very docile and don’t cause the same problems.

flick_away.png

Notes

• A popular aphorism – Conan the Barbarian says what?

AI Overview

The quote “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a variation of a line from German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche’s 1888 book, Twilight of the Idols. It suggests that enduring hardships can lead to personal growth and resilience.

  • Original German: “Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker”
  • English translation: “What does not kill me, makes me stronger”
  • Author: Friedrich Nietzsche
  • Source: Twilight of the Idols (1888)
  • Meaning: The quote is interpreted as a message of resilience, suggesting that overcoming adversity and challenges can lead to personal strength and a better ability to handle future difficulties.

AI Overview

The phrase “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” has been used in films like Conan the Barbarian (1982), which opens with a version of the quote attributed to Nietzsche, and Doogie Howser, M.D. (1989–1993) features the character using the quote. The quote itself originates from the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche’s writings in the late 19th century.

  • Conan the Barbarian (1982): The film opens with the quote, which is a misquotation of Nietzsche’s original German text.
  • Doogie Howser, M.D. (1989–1993): The titular teenage doctor states, “as Nietzsche said, ‘Whatever doesn’t destroy me makes me stronger'”.

The phrase is a popular aphorism used in many cultural contexts to discuss resilience and overcoming adversity. While it’s a common inspirational saying, it’s also a misrepresentation of Nietzsche’s original words, which are often a subject of philosophical discussion.

Related posts

2 comments on “Beyond happy – a resonant reality requires resistance”

  1. 11-16-2025

    Bio hive mind

    Evidently, even the bond between telepaths might not be adequate joining, a deep enough togetherness.

    The theme of individualism versus collectivism involving, in particular, a hive mind reminded me of a story I’d read long ago, decades ago. It’s been nagging me. Well, a Google search confirmed the details. A tale of absorption into oneness, a collective blissed-out being.

    Google: classic sci fi story anthology which contains story about a character resisting a physical blending in a hive mind

    AI Overview

    The story you are describing, which involves a character resisting physical blending into a hive mind, is likely the novella A Song for Lya by George R. R. Martin.

    This Hugo-award-winning novella involves a race of aliens, the Pch’n, who live in a benevolent, voluntary hive mind that humans join by physically merging into a “blob” structure on the planet. The story follows two human telepaths who investigate the process, with one of them ultimately choosing to join the collective, exploring themes of individuality, love, and the fear of losing one’s self.

    A Song for Lya has been published in various anthologies and collections, including:

    • A Song for Lya and Other Stories (1976), a short story collection by George R. R. Martin himself.
    • Dreamsongs: Volume One (2003), a comprehensive collection of Martin’s early works.
    • Various “Best Of” science fiction anthologies from the 1970s and beyond.

    • Wiki > A Song for Lya (novella) – “A Song For Lya” is a science fiction novella by American writer George R.R. Martin. It was published in Analog Science Fiction and Fact magazine in 1974 and won the Hugo Award for Best Novella in 1975.

    The story deals with two telepaths named Robb and Lyanna (“Lya” for short), who visit the planet Shkea by an invitation of the planetary administrator, who is disconcerted by the culture of the native alien population, the Shkeen, and how it affects humans. The Shkeen are an ancient culture, but their progress has stalled at a stone age level for thousands of years. Their religion is centered on a jelly-like parasite called the Greeshka. At middle age, they allow themselves to be infected by it, and ten years later visit a cave where there is a large mass of Greeshka and allow themselves to be consumed by it. The administrator is concerned because a growing quantity of humans have joined that religion, including his predecessor.

  2. 11-14-2025

    The friction dilemma

    There’s the commons – shared community space – and what we have in common. What binds us together. But how deep do those bonds go? What is taken for granted (tacit)? What is left unexplored in daily routines and transactions? Harm hidden in silence. Uncertainty rooted in indeterminate liberty.

    A TV series and a book explore this landscape.

    Epigraphs

    “Man is condemned to be free. – Jean-Paul Sartre

    “People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.” – Søren Kierkegaard

    “Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” – Søren Kierkegaard

    Eyes of interdependency

    Pluribus

    The 2025 TV Series Pluribus explores a reality without resistance, a friction-free hive-minded habitat of happiness. Yet, to what purpose? What grounds meaning in daily life?

    I started writing my post (above) on November 6, after reading the two articles which I cited. I had not followed the release of Apple’s new sci-fi series or was aware of its premise. That is, until after writing my intro and logging the articles. After watching a teaser for Pluribus by the showrunner, I decided to watch the first episodes. That’s when I realized the connections to a friction-free landscape, the notion of agency, and my prior writings.

    • Space.com > What’s the deal with the deep space transmission and alien ‘happy’ virus in Apple TV’s ‘Pluribus’? by Jeff Spry (11-14-2025)

    Together fable (book)

    And now there’s a new book which explores a related landscape: The Emergency by George Packer. This morning, I watched the author promote his book on a streaming news channel. He described the book as a fable about a traditional “liberal” sense of agency vs. a rising collective sense, regarding social structures of belonging and good order. And the struggle to recover a sense of community, a shared reality, a common humanity.

    • Amazon Books

    (description)
    An [unnamed] empire has collapsed from boredom and loss of faith in itself. In the Emergency that follows, youth rebellions of urban Burghers and rural Yeomen embrace radical new ideas of humanity.

    • YouTube > Politics and Prose > Book Talk: George Packer — The Emergency – with Jeffrey Goldberg (Nov 12, 2025)

    [My notes from video]

    The thought police are your neighbors … there’s no totalitarian authority, that’s not the the problem, but a deep social divide, … a new movement in the city of the young called “together” … utopian … without hierarchy, without leaders, a daily meeting called “we are one” … in the countryside there’s also a rebellion going on … backward looking, a form of animal worship, “dirt thought” … body & strength … civil war … a new weapon shit-a-pult …

    • MSNBC MJ > (Book Tour) > The Emergency by George Packer (11-14-2024)

    [Transcript excerpts]

    Mika Brzezinski – George Packer, your new book, entitled The Emergency, delves into a dystopian world where an empire falls, and an emergency follows, full of clashes between young versus old, urban versus rural, and individualism versus collectivism. It’s a fiction novel.

    Packer – … My literary role model is Orwell, author of 1984. This does not come anywhere near it, but this is a fable. A political dystopia about an empire [an unnamed, timeless realm] that collapses.

    It dies of boredom, and in the vacuum, the city people, who I call Burgers, especially the young, form a new [utopian] ideology called Together. And the story is about a family, a doctor, his wife, and their two children. The doctor is a creature of the old empire that no longer exists.

    Pablo Torre – Yeah, look, I wanna think about Orwell for a second, because you’re an authority on him.

    I think, actually, about what the author, Neil Postman, had said, about what is the actual fable that is instructive in this time? Is it Orwell, who wanted to control the release of information? That was the thesis of so many of the works that have inspired you?

    Or is it Aldous Huxley, at a brave new world, in which there is so much garbage out there … That’s just hard to actually discern what’s real or not.

    Packer – … There’s no dictator or demagogue.

    My son asked me, Is there a demagogue in your novel? And I say, No, there’s not, because I’m trying to get at the deeper forces of social conflict, between groups and within families, without references to parties or figures from our politics, ’cause I think what matters, to get at the emotion of being alive today, is, what does it feel like when suddenly you don’t understand people you thought were your fellow countrymen, countrywomen? What does it feel like when you don’t understand your children?

Comments are closed.